I started to write, but then George/Jude came and sat with me. (Everyone is confused as to whether his name is George or Jude, so we just call him George/Jude.) :)
Oh, Uganda... it is hard to begin. I lost my first journal on the plane and well, the traveling part was quite an experience. Tomorrow, it will be one week here! Hard to believe. So much to say... I feel at home here in the evenings now... Martin, my mukwa, :) , Maureen, Shafic, Megan... We laugh so much! Last night I stayed up late and they taught me how to use the latrine. It was SO hilarious! Apparently, the secret is to get really low, which I was not aware of. I guess I will have to keep practicing my squats! We laughed all night together.
Today, we went to George/Jude's house and I rode my first boda boda. We walked maybe 5 miles there and I got to hear his story. I feel perplexed as to what the answer is. He kept saying he is trusting God will give him things, but its seems like to me, most people I've talked to here pray for things... I am not in their shoes and I have no clue of their struggle, but that is not how prayer has worked for me. I have to pray for God's will for me and to be useful to others, not demand that God give me things. But again, I am not in their shoes so I don't know. I got the idea this week for our students to write gratitude lists. Maybe that is somewhere we can begin? The mindset just seems so negative and hopeless here and I feel like thinking that way must perpetuate struggle even more. In my experience, positive thinking and energy is key, so we will see what develops there.
A week in review: So far... riding in the back of a truck in the rain, the orphanage, comforting Makanga and holding him down while they razored off his syphilis boils - hearing his screams was REALLY hard to hear. I had to fight back tears... seeing Brigette try to walk (she has spinal TB) and then her falling down and crying - I hate hearing and seeing kids really cry. It kills me but I know I have to be strong. Riding in WILD taxis. Laughing and hanging out with Megan, our heart to heart talks... she is SO good with everyone. It's amazing! Long talks and bead making with Maureen, learning so much about Ugandan culture, meeting students, 2 dance parties, being called "BIG" daily and having to try not to let it get to me - wearing pink plaid rain boots to the latrine, trying to pet goats and be their friend, "helping" milk the cow, dogs jumping on me, snotty kids, poop smell, bathing in a little bowl with cold water, Auntie, Jjajja, Jjajja at the orphanage, all the babies there - love them so much but it is dirty as f*ck there. Andrew my brother, meeting the elders, meeting Hanne (a German volunteer) and listening to her and letting her know she is not alone, Berni & Auntie my first night- so sweet, so kind, so hospitable, no idea what I was in for - CRAZY drivers, walking down the road like a celebrity, meeting TONS of little kids, trying to learn Luganda, teaching English, sleeping in a mosquito net, being dirtier than my brain can comprehend, getting over the shock of being in Africa, dealing with J--- when he always has to be right and "know it all", praying, finding acceptance as much as possible, serenity prayer, humility, living in a barn-like house (no ceilings), feeling sick, reading cards from friends back home, hysterically crying to Beth, Mom & Dad, trying to use the internet, realizing reality is tougher here than I imagined, realizing J---'s attitude was bringing me down and making me feel sad and stupid. Talking to Megan was awesome and we both connected and I decided it is okay to just be me. I'm doing my best. I don't need to take on J---'s guilt or ideas or drama. I'm so grateful for Megan. She is one of the sweetest, most fun girls I've ever met!
I thank God for keeping me safe so far and hope He can/will continue to guide me and help me do His will - to be of maximum usefulness. As Fred says, I am not alone! :) SO AMAZING!!!!! Yay. I love Uganda and feel at home here in so many ways, yet realize there are probably more stark realities and wake up calls ahead. Thank GOD for everything He has given me and the gifts and relationships in my life. I love my family and friends and can't wait to see what each day brings. Prayer will be very necessary since it is one of my only lifelines here - especially with J--- and Meagan and the people I meet and the circumstances I get into. ha. Sooooooo wild. You just don't know until you know. I'm in UGANDA.
I made it to the Equator!
Maureen and Shafic
George/Jude
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